646f9e108c A medieval Book of the Dead is discovered in the catacombs that run under a small town strip club. When one of the desperate strippers raises an army of the undead, the rest of the strippers must kick zombie ass to save the world. This movie stars several known faces from Japan's adult movie industry, most notably Sora Aoi.
Absolutely dismal attempt to make something resembling a horror comedy, like only the Japanese in their sick psycho minds could produce (any Japanese people that have seen this thing would indubitably concur with me in that last bigotry ridden statement). Easily one of the worst films I've ever seen, which unfortunately even ended up in my movie collection (I never knew my friends disliked me so much they would give me this monstrosity for my birthday… but at least I didn't pay for it, except for the ten years it took away from my life by giving me brain rot). Except for a few nice naked breasts sparsely displayed throughout, there's just nothing redeemable about this audiovisual piece of poo that by rights shouldn't even be allowed to be called a movie, since that would insult anyone who's ever worked on proper films. The plot, if there is such a thing here, revolves around a few exotic dancers (a bunch of girls with hardly any acting experience, which is clearly revealed) who find themselves under siege by completely unconvincing looking zombies (my cat's fleas could have provided better make-up effects!) after discovering some old book containing incantations capable of resurrecting the dead. Every supposed joke the brainless mutants called 'writers' make misses its mark completely, making this movie so painfully cringe worthy this flick is very hard to sit through, even though it's running for only 74 minutes. To make matters worse – yes, that is actually possible – the movie boasts 3D effects: every time an icon pops up in the corner of the screen, you can put on your 3D glasses, but what is seen when wearing these is not 3D, it's just jumbled, messed up imagery, inducing nasty headaches within seconds. Depth is obviously non-existent in every way here, it mightwell be called a 0D movie. If there ever is such a thinga public movie burning rally somewhere, this is the title you're most likely to see in agony on the bon fire; I'd be first in line to make sure no copies of this horrific pile of garbage survive the event. Original Japanese title: Kyonyȗ Doragon: Onsen zonbi vs sutorippȃ 5: if there's indeed a part 1 through 4 of this (I never bothered finding this out), watching the series in a marathon is nothing short of committing seppuku, the dishonorable version.
The various titles of this are rather perplexing. While there certainly are some big "T"s and some zombies, there are not a whole lot of big-breasted zombies on display, rather this is kind of along the lines of recent American flicks like "Zombie Strippers" and "Strippers vs. Zombies"a quintet of Asian strippers working at a nearly deserted Japanese resort are besieged by undead zombies after one of them (a Gothic lolita type) accidentally raises the dead. So will these buxom girls lose their tops in gratuitous catfights? Will most of them become zombified themselves? And will they kick major zombie ass while shoving their own barely clad ones in the camera at every opportunity? Yes, yes, and oh, yes! <br/><br/>An alternate title of this is "Big Tits Dragon", which seemingly makes no sense, but is probably the result of the most memorable scene where one of the zombified strippers shoots fire out of her–well, let's just say it isn't her mouth. I believe that girl is supposed to be a Thai immigrant to Japan, but THIS is something you're probably unlikely to see even in the strip bars of Bangkok. The two cutest girls meanwhile are the Gothic lolita (Risa Kasumi) who starts all the trouble and the incredible Aoi Sola, who plays the lead. Sola, a former AV starlet turned neo-"pink" film mainstay, stays a little more draped than usual, but her character gets in numerous sumo-style catfights, gets blind drunk and ends up in bed with any number of unattractive males (i.e. a homeless man, an elderly dwarf), and eventually turns into an efficient Samurai zombie fighter.<br/><br/>This is pretty dumb actually and not terribly original, but it's pretty entertaining nevertheless. . .


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